Tax Day Limericks

There once was a young man from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked, “Why a third?”
He replied, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!”
There once was a fellow named Brian
Who was bitten one day by a lion.
He went on the prowl
And he started to growl,
But other than that he’s just fion.
~Mary Volk

A burleycue baby named Heath
Displayed what she wore underneath.
But the morons who viewed her
Thought she ought to be nuder
So she showed them the skin of her teeth.
There’s a pretty young lady named Sark,
Afraid to get laid in the dark,
But she’s often manhandled
By the light of a candle
In the bushes of Gramercy Park.
There once was a poet from Hexameter
Whose mistress kept calling him amateur.
She said, “Your technique
Is too rough and antique,
And your rhythm’s a jerky pentameter.
A young strong boxer named Louis,
Buggered a dastardly Jewess,
He said with a sigh
As his engine went dry,
‘I wonder where all of my goo is?’
When the judge, with his wife having sport,
Proved suddenly two inches short,
The good woman declined,
And the judge had her fined
By proving contempt of the court.